Bullying is an awful problem and is getting a lot of much needed attention these days. Bullying happens at all age levels, and is very dangerous. In this post I am addressing adult bullies who target other adults.  So, if I could get all the adult bullies out there in an auditorium, this is what I would say to them. Afterwards, I would stick around to hear what they had to say to me…or would I? The link I’ve provided has some good information on how to respond to adult bullies if you need it.

Attention Adult Bullies:

First of all, I am sorry for your pain because I know that your pain is why you are doing what you are doing. But it does not excuse you.  You alone are responsible for your actions. Face it, there is nothing you can say that justifies your tormenting and terrorizing other people. I hope you will deal with your pain. It will not make you weak to admit pain, it will make you strong, and I know that being strong is what you want. Only when you stop being a bully can you be strong.

Next, I know you want to be cool. When you intimidate and frighten people in order to make yourself look better in the eyes of others, you don’t look cool, you look silly. Cool people make the people around them better, they make others feel good. They certainly don’t make them afraid. You won’t be cool until you can add value to the people around you. Only when you stop being a bully can you be cool.  

Finally, I know you want trusting, respectful, and lasting relationships. You may have people who stand by and watch you when you are making fun of and hurting others in your subtle as well as not so subtle ways, but while these people may not speak out against you, their decision to say nothing is not a sign that they like, trust and respect you. Instead, it is a lot more likely that they are simply trying to keep from being the target of your insidious behavior in the future. They don’t like you, trust you, or respect you, because you have proven that you cannot be trusted.  When the day comes that they find a way out, they will leave you. You won’t be trusted until you trust, respected until you show respect, and you will be alone until you open your heart to other people. Only when you stop being a bully can you have healthy relationships.

You can have all of the things you want from life, but they won’t be yours until you stop bullying others. You can be pain free. You can be cool. And you can have deep, trusting, respectful and lasting relationships. Get some help, please. You have something to give to this world but I speak for all of us when I say to you that we don’t want it from a bully! Only when you stop being a bully can you have the life you want.

If you have an adult bully in your life, here’s a link you might find helpful as you deal with them.

We are creating our lives…one decision at a time.

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