It’s natural to want to fill in the blanks that we encounter in our lives. Blanks leave us hanging. Blanks make us uncomfortable. There’s a void of information that comes along with a blank, and try as we might to be cool with the unknown, most of us struggle with these blanks…so we attempt to fill them in. The problem is, the stuff we fill in the blanks with is supremely nutty at times, is usually based on extremely limited information, and is oftentimes not any of our business to begin with! We would actually be way better off if we just left some blanks, well … blank. I hope this article causes you to consider doing just that.
I admit up front that from early on in our lives we were encouraged, and even rewarded, for showing folks we could fill in the blanks they left for us. In lots of ways, being able to fill in the blanks showed we were “with it”…something we would all like to be! So, if you have lived your life filling in the blanks, it is alright. But it can be dangerous too.
My earliest memory of filling in the blank was in Sunday school kindergarten class where the teacher used this method to teach us song verses. ________ loves me, this I know, ‘cause the _________ tells me so. Later on in history class we’d get, Columbus sailed the ocean blue in ________. There have been lots of blanks since then and I am still running into them today as I take steps to become more connected to myself. Now I am trying to fill in, I am a/an __________. Trust me; those first ones were much easier!
Filling in the blanks for a test or for things that pertain to your own life is natural and good. But when you start filling in the blanks in another person’s life, that can only mean Trouble. And yes, that’s Trouble with a capital T. For example,
Tim did not call me back, it must be because _______________________.
Mary was chilly to me at the party, it must be because __________________.
Clarisse has sure put on the weight, it must be because _______________.
Pete and Nancy did not even stand next to each other at the reception last weekend, it must be because ____________________.
Steven has never had a serious girlfriend, it must be because _______________.
There could be any number of reasons for statements like the ones above. Therefore, anything that I might use as blank filler would be a real shot in the dark. Right? And in many of the cases above, it is also none of my bleeping business!
If a blank left in someone else’s life affects you directly, that blank is only going to be filled in properly by talking with that person. And if the blank in someone else’s life does not affect you directly, then what are you doing trying to fill in that blank anyway? Are there no blanks in your own life that need your attention?
Fill in the blanks of your own life, not someone else’s.
We are creating our lives…one decision at a time.
I welcome your comments and I’d love for you to share this post if you’d like. And if you really want to stay in touch, subscribe to best I have in the upper right corner. Thanks for being here.