Are You Where Kindness Lives?


My grandma used to say, “I’m tired of pussyfooting around!” She would be fed up with something and ready to go all-in when those words came from her mouth. I loved it because it meant something BIG was about to happen and she was going to be on-fire!

Well, I’m right there right now in my own life and I am going all-in and making it my new life’s mission to be part of building a world WHERE KINDNESS LIVES.

Listen, I am positively convinced that if you want to improve any part of your life, the most immediate way to do it is by making kindness your way of life. 

When you choose kindness as a way of life, it adds meaning to even the most mundane things you do, improves your self-esteem, enriches all your relationships, and it raises the joy quotient in your life and in the lives of those around you. Oh, and I should mention peace . . . when you make your life a place WHERE KINDNESS LIVES, you experience peace in your life which equals freedom from anger, resentment, and control, just to mention a few of those nasty little unwelcome companions.

Yes, I know those are big claims. But I’ve never said anything more true.

Here’s the thing, I’ve discovered that I’ve been wrong about what true kindness really means until recently.

I used to think that being kind meant that I had to “give in,” “be nice,” “agree rather than disagree,” and “never rock the boat,” no matter what. Without really admitting it, I thought being kind meant that if I did what others wanted me to do, that I could control how those people felt about me. I mean come on, I was giving them what they wanted by being “kind,” so why wouldn’t they like me? What I was really saying was something like, “THEY BETTER LIKE ME!” (Where’s the kindness in that, right?)

But you know what? That definition of kindness made me pretty miserable, not to mention more than a little resentful. Oh, I could claim I was “kind,” but that sure wasn’t making me happy or giving me the results I wanted. Confused and uncomfortable, I knew that this couldn’t be all that kindness was cracked up to be!

And then it happened. I started looking around and I opened up to what TRUE KINDNESS is really all about.


Yes, true kindness is “nice” for sure and true kindness genuinely cares for others.

But true kindness requires that rather than being quick to acquiesce or do things out of a sense of obligation, that you honor yourself, what’s in your heart and what’s most important to you.

And true kindness requires that, no matter what, out of your genuine concern for others, that you never “trick” or manipulate them. Because if you are “kind” in service of getting what you want from someone else and you are keeping a score, that’s not kindness, that’s manipulation.

Imagine it. True kindness means no more resentment and anger for how you are spending your life’s time. No more giving up control of your life’s time. You do what your heart dictates you do and you take full responsibility for it.

In the end, kindness is about what lives in your heart. 

So, that’s the beginning of what it means to make your life a place WHERE KINDNESS LIVES. It takes strength, courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to take full responsibility for your life and let everybody else do the same.


Remember that we are all much more alike than we are different. We all have doubts, fears, hopes and dreams and we’re all doing the best we can. No matter how someone else is showing up in their life, we don’t get to use that as an excuse for how we show up in ours. We always get to choose what we offer to others. If you find yourself unsure or uncomfortable as you interact with others, stop, breathe, and ask yourself what’s in your heart… then honor that. Because that’s WHERE KINDNESS LIVES.


I’ll be sharing thoughts and strategies for how to make your life a place WHERE KINDNESS LIVES from this point forward and I want to grow the audience for this important message! If you are so inclined, please share this with anyone you think might enjoy it. I want to be part of building a world WHERE KINDNESS LIVES, I truly do. I’d love your help. 

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